I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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