Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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