There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
