I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
