you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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