He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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