Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Drunk is not a location!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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