for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
