You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
