The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
