You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
