Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
