He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
