You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
