Got a toothbrush?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
