you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
