I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
