Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
