Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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