Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
