It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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