He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have aggressive nipples.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
