I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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