sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
