I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
