the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
