It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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