Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
ttyl tear gas
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
