I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
