She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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