If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
