A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
