Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
