i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
