Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
