I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
