My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
