So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
