TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am one with the molecules
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
