Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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