An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize