I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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