I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So much rum. So many feels.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
