well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
