I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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