recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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