Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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