As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
