At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
