Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I touched a dick in church today
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
